Cover of Halfway to the Grave

Halfway to the Grave

by Jeaniene Frost

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Below are the most popular and impactful highlights and quotes from Halfway to the Grave:(Showing 30 of 30)

“I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.”
“If you run from me, I will chase you, and I'll find you....”
“Don't kiss me like a woman if you're going to treat me like a child.”
“Lucifer's bouncing balls, Kitten, not again!”
“You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!”
“Would you mind repeating that? I'm afraid I might have lost my wits altogether and just hallucinated what I've longed to hear.”
“Kitten, you need to make a decision. Either we stay here and behave or we leave now and I promise you”—his voice dipped lower and the words fell against my lips—“if we leave, I won’t behave.”
“There is only one way to fight, and that's dirty. Clean gentlemanly fighting will get you nowhere but dead, and fast. Take every cheap shot, every low blow, absolutely kick people when they're down, and maybe you'll be the one who walks away.”
“Is that a stake, Bones, or are you just happy with my new dress?”“In this case, it’s a stake. You could always feel around for something more, though. See what comes up.”
“Let's go, Kitten, before you kill someone else. -Bones”
“Do you think I’m pretty?” I heard myself ask. Something I couldn’t name flashed across his face. “No. I don’t think you’re pretty. I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“We're going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?- Timmie”
“I love you. You have no idea what you are worth to me.”
“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?” Bones asked, getting back to the subject. “You to take me,” she replied at once. “Not gonna happen!” I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That’s when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand.”
“Right, then, mate, terribly sorry for my unspeakable rudeness, and I do beg your pardon. I can only say that it was caused by my natural affront to the notion of her as my sister. Since I'll be shagging her tonight, you can imagine how I'd be distressed at the thought of rogering my sibling""You shmuck! The only thing you'll be shagging tonight is yourself!""You wanted sincerity, well, luv, I was sincere.”
“I was thrown into a state of sheer, mindless panic. “It’s my mother!” I whispered fiercely,as if Bones hadn’t figured that out. “Holy shit, you have to hide!”I literally shoved him toward the bedroom, yelling, “I—I’ll be right there, I’m notdressed!”He went, but with none of my hysteria. “Kitten, you still haven’t told her? Blimey, whatare you waiting for?”The Second Coming of Christ!” I snapped. “And not a moment sooner! Here, in thecloset!”
“We're, ah, taking a break to evaluate things, and, um, reexamine our relationship, so I stuffed him in a closet!" I burst out in shame. Timmie's eyes goggled.Is he still there?”
“Playing with fire Kitten?”
“So do you remember this place?" "Hard to forget." he snorted. "This is where you tried to kill me. You were so nervous, you kept blushing. Never had someone try to stake me who blushed so much.”
“I am a nice young girl here to pick up your granddaughter for the weekend... We're going to a Bible retreat to scare the devil out of her. - Bones to Cat's grandparents”
“You! You tricked me! I never want to see you or that bottle of liquid arsenic again!”I chucked the empty moonshine jug at him. Or tried to. It missed him by a dozen feet.He picked it up in astonishment. “You drank the whole bloody thing? You were only supposed to have a few sips!”“Did you say that? Did you?” He reached me just as I felt the ground tip. “Didn’t say anything. I’ve got those names, so that’s all that matters, but you men…you’re all alike. Alive, dead, undead—all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?”Bones held me upright. I would have protested, but I couldn’t remember how to. “What are you saying?”“Winston poltergeisted my panties, that’s what!” I announced with a loud hiccup.“Why, you scurvy, lecherous spook!” Bones yelled in the direction of the cemetery. “If my pipes still worked, I’d go right back there and piss on your grave!”
“Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha!”
“Kitten, this is my best mate, Charles, but you can call him Spade. Charles, this is Cat, the woman I’ve been telling you about. You can see for yourself that everything I’ve said is…an understatement.”
“Charles,” Bones said distinctly. “You’d better have a splendid explanation for her being on top of you.”The black-haired vampire rose to his feet as soon as I jumped off, brushing the dirt off his clothes.“Believe me, mate, I’ve never enjoyed a woman astride me less. I came out to say hello, and this she-devil blinded me by flinging rocks in my eyes. Then she vigorously attempted to split my skull before threatening to impale me with silver if I so much as eventwitched! It’s been a few years since I’ve been to America, but I daresay the method of greeting a person has changeddramatically!”Bones rolled his eyes and clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re still upright, Charles, and the only reason you are is because she didn’t have any silver. She’d have staked you right and proper otherwise. She has a tendency to shrivel someone firstand then introduce herself afterwards.”
“I’ve wanted you from the moment we met, and if you think sitting next to me in your bra doesn’t overwhelm me with desire, you’re very wrong. I just don’t force myself where I’m not invited. (Bones)”
“The clock struck eleven and cat the vampire huntress was on the loose, except my battle armor was a push-up bra, curled hair, and a short dress. Yeah, it was a dirty job, but I was going to do it. Come one, come all, bloodsuckers! Bar’s open!”
“Whatever would give you the idea that I'm her damn brother?”
“One corpse, extra crispy! Do I hear a thousand dollars? ”
“Charlie whistled "Amazing Grace" as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like "Shout at the Devil" or "Don't fear the Reaper"? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping.”
“Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - TimmyHe's English! And Mom...Mom hates foreigners! - Cat”

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