The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole

“Childhood trauma can range from having faces extreme violence and neglect to having confronted feelings of not belonging, being unwanted, or being chronically misunderstood. You may have grown up in an environment where your curiosity and enthusiasm were constantly devalued. Perhaps you were brought up in a family where your parents had unresolved traumas of their own, which impaired their ability to attend to your emotional needs. Or, you may have faced vicious sexual or physical attacks. In all such situations, you learn to compensate by developing defenses around your most vulnerabe parts.”

“Grounding refers to using your ability to sense your body and feel your feet on the earth in order to calm your nervous system. Grounding is a key resource for trauma and emotional overwhelm. Your senses (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching) are the only necessary tools for anchoring yourself in the present moment. One simple practice involves naming five things you see, four things you hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and taking one deep slow breath.”

“Dr. Brené Brown’s research has shown that expressing one’s most vulnerable feelings is a sign of strength and facilitates health. She explains, “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”

“It is one thing to process memories of trauma, but it is an entirely different matter to confront the inner void.”

“Another form of resistance in psychotherapy is a desire to turn toward addictive habits such as emotional eating, drinking, or using drugs. Addictions are another way of avoiding pain.”

“If you were neglected or abused as a child, your primary orientation to the world is likely to be one of threat, fear, and survival.”

“UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATION Dissociation, like all other symptoms of C-PTSD, is a learned behavior that initially helped you cope with a threatening environment. A neglected or abused child will rely upon built-in, biological protection mechanisms for survival to “tune out” threatening experiences. In adulthood, dissociation becomes a well-maintained division between the part of you involved in keeping up with daily tasks of living and the part of you that is holding emotions of fear, shame, or anger.”

“We cannot eliminate the so-called negative forces of afflictive emotions. The only way to work with them is to encounter them directly, enter their world, and transform them. They then become manifestations of wisdom.”

“Adults who were abused or neglected as children will often blame themselves. This can lead to persistent feelings of guilt and shame. EMDR therapist Dr. Jim Knipe proposes that this self-blame is a direct link to childhood logic—children will develop a fantasy that they are bad kids relying upon good parents to avoid confronting the terrifying reality that they are good kids relying upon bad parents.”

“Dr. Seligman suggests adopting a positive set of thoughts he calls “learned optimism.” This process is achieved by consciously challenging negative self-talk and replacing inaccurate thoughts with positive beliefs.”

“Where there had been only fearful emptiness or equally frightening grandiose fantasies, an unexpected wealth of vitality is now discovered. This is not a homecoming, since this home has never before existed. It is the creation of home.”

“Fear and lack of safety might compel you to continuously scan your environment for potential threats.”

“Healing dissociation involves differentiating between the past and the present, and you can do so by cultivating mindful awareness of the “here and now” (see here). INTRUSIVE SYMPTOMS”

“You can heal dissociation by developing the capacity to recognize that traumatic events happened to you and that they are over now. You develop the capacity to realize that traumatic events influence your sense of self and your basic assumptions about the world.”

“The second step involves imagining what your life today would be like if you fully believed in your own worthiness—if you trusted that you could be loved fully for who you are. The third step involves imagining how these positive beliefs about yourself can shape your future.”

“He suggested that learned helplessness was the base of a pessimistic attitude. He identified the 3 P’s of pessimism: Personalizing, Pervasiveness, and Permanence. In other words, it’s like saying: “It’s my fault, I mess everything up, and I will always be this way.”

“As Renee softened her judgmental stance, she became aware of how lonely and scared she feels sometimes. She had access to a new sense of kindness and compassion for herself.”

“According to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a clinical psychiatrist recognized for his work in post-traumatic stress, healing from trauma involves putting unspeakable events into words. Likewise, Dr. Daniel Siegel discusses the importance of “coherence” as a key component to healing from a traumatic childhood. Coherence is best defined as having a story that makes sense. This does not mean that you feel okay about what happened to you. Rather, coherence involves having an understanding about your past and how it informs who you are today. Let’s look at what facilitates coherence:”

“All defenses are learned behaviors. You only develop psychological defenses because they were once necessary for self-protection. In order to heal, it is important to become curious about your behaviors and their origins. The practice of being curious helps you cultivate insight, a deeper understanding that leads to compassion and acceptance.”

“Parenting two young children was triggering Renee’s childhood memories, and she did not have sufficient resources to handle these feelings.”

“Look over the preceding common defense strategies that can arise during therapy. In what ways can you relate? In what ways could you see overwhelm, resistance, unhealthy urges, or perfectionism interfering with your healing process?”

“You can manage the intensity by slowing down the pace of how and when you attend to trauma-related memories. You can also strengthen your connection to positive resources, such as supportive friends or relaxation techniques, as a way to manage overwhelm.”

“Controlling breath is one of the fastest ways to regulate your nervous system. The aim of this breath practice is to slow down the pace of your breath to relax and calm your body and mind.”

“The vagus nerve plays a central role in ANS regulation because it connects your brain to your digestive system, heart, lungs, throat, and facial muscles. Dr. Stephen Porges introduced polyvagal theory, which proposes your nervous system reflects a developmental progression with three evolutionary stages:”

“For example, a belief that the trauma was your own fault is challenged when you recognize that you were just a child; you couldn’t have done anything wrong. CPT educates about PTSD symptoms; helps develop awareness of your thoughts and feelings; guides you to incorporate new, more positive beliefs; and encourages practicing new skills that propel insights into actions.”

“The theme throughout the chapters is one of normalizing the problems of people with difficult and extensive trauma histories—those individuals who might be described within the categories of complex PTSD and/or developmental trauma”

“Unresolved trauma can take a significant toll on your physical health. Unresolved childhood trauma is particularly insidious, with effects that are both gradual and cumulative.”

“The aim is to find a balance between thinking and feeling in order to have healthy empathy, develop successful relationships, and make effective decisions.”