Breakfast with Seneca: A Stoic Guide to the Art of Living

“Sometimes a friend can be a superb mentor. Often, someone who knows you well can offer candid feedback that would feel out of place—or even hostile—coming from a stranger.”

“It’s pleasant to be with yourself as long as possible—if you’ve made yourself into someone worth spending time with.”22”

“It’s enough for me if, every day, I reduce the number of my vices and correct my mistakes. —Seneca, On the Happy Life”

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

“Seneca then suddenly changes the subject to talk about selecting and reading the right books, to discuss how “not wandering” is vital in reading also: “If you wish to take in something that will settle reliably in your mind,” he says, “you must dwell with a few chosen thinkers and be nourished by their works. Someone who is everywhere is nowhere. Those who travel constantly end up with many acquaintances, but no real friends.”7”

“How many things we acquire only because others bought them and because they are in a good many homes. Many of our problems are explained by the fact that we copy the example of others: rather than following reason, we are led astray by convention. If only a few people did something, we wouldn’t imitate them. But when the majority starts to act a certain way, we follow along, too, as if something should be more honorable just because it’s more frequent.11”

“Virtue, or excellence of one’s inner character, is the only true good.”

“As Seneca explains often, you can only be anxious about the future if you view the present moment as being unfulfilling.”

“The first judgment is “I’ve been harmed” or “someone has treated me unjustly.” The second judgment is “If I’ve been harmed, I should seek payback through retribution or vengeance.” Should these two judgments be combined, the outcome is likely to be a manifestation of extreme anger.”

“While any adversity could strike us, it’s how we respond that is a measure of our true character.”

“The time that has passed is ours to keep, and nothing is safer than that which was.”

“What you have actually achieved will only be clear when you take your last breath.”

“Whether you are working for those closest to you now or working for future generations, both approaches are worthy of admiration. Seneca shows us that there are countless ways we can all contribute to society, whether benefiting one or many. Regardless of our individual skills and inclinations, there’s a way open for everyone.”

“Loving to rush around is not proof someone is hardworking—it’s only the restlessness of an agitated mind.”

“While letters can embody ongoing conversations, social media is primarily made up of comments—and those are two very different things.”

“It is difficulties that reveal a person’s character,”

“Whenever you want to know what to seek or avoid, look to your Highest Good, the aim of your entire life,” because whatever we do should be in harmony with that.19 While the idea that “a person should live according to their Highest Good” might sound a bit strange to our modern ears, it made perfect sense to the Roman Stoics. They also knew exactly what that Highest Good was for them: it was always striving to live in a way that is honorable and rational, with excellence of character, by aligning your life with the four cardinal virtues of wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice.”

“the first proof of a stable mind is its ability to stay in one place and enjoy its own company”

“Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is “not out to get you,” you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it’ll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don’t get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren’t met, their disappointment becomes anger.27”

“We can now see that the alternative to “preoccupation” and racing around in a flurry of busyness is learning how to live more deeply.”