Everyday Enlightenment: The Twelve Gateways to Personal Growth

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. —Helen Keller”

“People have asked me how they can determine when to listen to fear's counsel and when to push through the fear. As a general rule, when the danger is physical, let fear guide you to take care and prepare well or even choose not to take foolish risks. But when the fear is psychological, as in the fear of embarrassment, shame, rejection, and so forth, that is the time to push through”

“Some of us center our lives around other people's feelings; we try to make them happy. But since you can't control your feelings, how can you possibly fix the feelings of others? The plain truth is that feeling responsible for someone else's unhappiness (or happiness) is simply not realistic”

“Apply humor. Lightening up lends perspective to any situation. The following story, sent to me on the Internet, provides a good example of humor diffusing a tense situation: An irate crowd of air travelers stood in a long line at a United Airlines ticket counter after their flight had been canceled, when an angry man walked to the front of the line, threw his ticket on the counter, and yelled, “I want a first-class seat on the next flight out, now!” The harried ticket agent, brushing back a lock of hair, replied, “I'll be glad to help you, sir, as soon as I take care of the people in line.” “You want me to wait in line?“ he yelled even louder. “Do you know who I am?“ The ticket agent hesitated only a moment before picking up the microphone, turning up the PA system, and announcing to the waiting area, “Ladies and gentlemen, there is a man at gate seventeen who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity—” “Screw you, lady!” the man yelled, storming off. In a parting shot she added, “Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to wait in line for that, too.” Her humor didn't help improve his emotions, but it helped hers. And the previously irate people waiting in the line were now smiling or laughing. No one else complained.”

“The heart of accepting your emotions (and, as you've seen, of reclaiming your will) is to do what you need to do despite what you are feeling.”

“Emotions, no matter how painful, are not the problem. The problem is dropping out of school or work, putting your family or duties or life on hold until such time as you can work out your emotional issues. Would you rather feel depressed while sitting alone in your room trying to figure it all out or feel depressed while getting your house cleaned or your project completed? (You may still feel depressed, but you have a cleaner house.)”

“of course, we don't love painful feelings like anxiety or depression. We don't have to love or even like them, but we do have to accept them, as difficult as that can seem at times.”

“Emotions are like waves on the sea or weather in the skies, rising and passing of their own accord. You cannot control your feelings by an act of intention or will. So you are not responsible for your feelings; only for your response to them. Accept emotions completely, let your feelings be; just don't let them run your life.”

“As I have already noted, even if psychics, astrologers, or other oracles are truly gifted, intuition is at best a do-it-yourself project. Other people's perspectives can be helpful at times, but ultimately the sixth gateway is about trusting your own inner guidance, doing your own readings, rather than searching for wisdom outside yourself. The goal is to take responsibility for guiding your own life and trusting your own intuitive capacities to do so.”

“to access a wave of motivational energy, you have to connect your goals to rewards such as fun, security, excitement, pleasure, and personal power.”

“To access subconscious stores of motivational energy, you have to provide rewards that address the three vital interests of your subconscious mind: security, pleasure, and power.”

“Then act—because success always boils down to this: Know your adversaries; then apply your will.”

“) No task is too formidable when you divide your goals into small, realistic steps and prepare well.”

“you may stir up problems around you because you're used to keeping life a little aggravating—because you don't cope well with smooth sailing. As”

“If we can stop judging our mistakes so harshly, we can also stop ourselves from reactively engaging in the negative behaviors.”

“In everyday life pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional—a by-product of poor choices.”

“As most of us have intuitively learned, sexuality best serves our spiritual evolution within a single, committed relationship.”

“True love is not feelings or flowery words; it is action. Love is as love does”

“Recognize that feelings fade unless restimulated, and use this to your advantage. Avoid restimulating undesired feelings.”

“As you learn to accept your emotions fully, however, without allowing them to drive or limit your behavior, you'll find it less necessary to change or fix them.”

“The ability to express feelings is an important life skill. But forever expressing upset feelings tends to restimulate them.”

“You don't worry unless you care. Concern reveals thoughtfulness and sensitivity. Insecurity reflects a desire to do well and to prove yourself. Shyness reminds you that you want to be liked and to make a good impression. Anger indicates passionate involvement or desire to be involved. Depression may indicate a sensitive soul, grieving for the world. Accepting your emotions sometimes means appreciating the positive lessons contained in negative emotions.”

“one way most of us deal with feelings is to ignore them or pretend they don't exist—to deny them. Then, as the pressure builds, we occasionally experience emotional episodes such as arguments or explosions (and we may later berate ourselves for having “lost control”).”

“The point of the preceding list of factors that generate emotions is that you cannot, and need not, analyze or understand all the factors that produce your emotional peaks or valleys. It's enough to know that the interaction of mind and circumstance contributes to your emotional lows and highs.”

“You are the expert on your life and destiny. When you are paying attention, no one knows you better than you can know yourself.”

“If you became wealthy and would nevertheless spend some of your time doing just what you now do for a living, you are fortunate indeed.”

“But managing your money does not depend upon becoming wealthy or declaring vows of poverty. Rather, it is about creating stability and sufficiency—a balanced flow of monetary energy through your life. This kind of management liberates you from survival issues, so that money concerns no longer occupy your mind or monopolize your attention.”

“Your sense of worth or deservedness shapes your life by creating tendencies. If you feel worthy and deserving, you tend to make productive choices. (“The world is my oyster.”) If you feel unworthy and undeserving, you tend to make destructive or limiting choices. (“Beggars can't be choosers.”)”