How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
by Leil Lowndes
30 popular highlights from this book
Key Insights & Memorable Quotes
Below are the most popular and impactful highlights and quotes from How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships:
“Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person’s face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.”
“So how do you find out what someone does for a living? (I thought you’d never ask.) You simply practice the following eight words. All together now: "How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . . of . . . your . . . time?”
“take consolation from the fact that the brighter the individual, the more he or she detests small talk.”
“A wise politician, when asked if he were for or against Prohibition, answered: If by alcohol, you mean the dangerous drink which destroys families, than I am fully for Prohibition. But if, by alcohol, you mean noble drink which promotes good fellowship and makes every meal a pleasure, then I am against it.”
“Never let the phrase thank you stand naked and alone. 'Thank you for being such a good customer.' 'Thank you for being so loving.”
“Keep good eye contact.”
“When we find people with the supernatural powers of perception to recognize our remarkableness, we become addicted to the heady drug of their appreciation.”
“great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze." The ideal image for somebody who's a Somebody.”
“How to Make People Want to Start a Conversation with You Singles proficient at meeting potential sweethearts without the benefit of introduction (in the vernacular, making a "pickup"), have developed a deliciously devious technique that works equally well for social or corporate networking purposes. The technique requires no exceptional skill on your part, only the courage to sport a simple visual prop called a "Whatzit." What’s a Whatzit? A Whatzit is anything you wear or carry that is unusual—a unique pin, an interesting purse, a strange tie, or an amusing hat. A Whatzit is any object that draws people’s attention and inspires them to approach you and ask, "Uh, what’s that?" Your Whatzit can be as subtle or overt as your personality and the occasion permit.”
“When you act as though you like someone, you start to really like them.”
“There are two kinds of people in this life: Those who walk into a room and say,‘Well, here I am!’ And those who walk in and say,‘Ahh, there you are.”
“Do humanity and yourself a favor. Never, ever, give just a one-sentence response to the question, "Where are you from?" Give the asker some fuel for his tank, some fodder for his trough.”
“I always try to turn the spotlight on the other person." The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.”
“Your eyes are personal grenades that have the power to detonate people's emotions.”
“whenever people meet you, they take an instant mental snapshot. That image of you becomes the data they deal with for a very long time.”
“The study showed women who were slower to smile in corporate life were perceived as more credible." As Missy talked, I began to think about history-making women like Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, Madeleine Albright, and other powerful women of their ilk. Not one was known for her quick smile. Missy continued, "The study went on to say a big, warm smile is an asset. But only when it comes a little slower, because then it has more credibility." From that moment on,”
“grow more by listening than talking.”
“TECHNIQUE #26 YOUR PERSONAL THESAURUS Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, like slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they fit. If you like them, start making permanent replacements. Remember, only fifty words makes the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, middle-of-the-road one. Substitute a word a day for two months and you'll be in the verbally elite.”
“You see, nobody gets to the top alone. Over the years, people who seem to ‘have it all’ have captured the hearts and conquered the minds of hundreds of others who helped boost them, rung by rung, to the top of whatever corporate or social ladder they chose.”
“At the end of the conversation, look the individual right in the eye. Say his or her name and proceed to curl all ten toes with the Killer Compliment.”
“The moment someone looks at you, he or she experiences a massive hit, the impact of which lays the groundwork for the entire relationship. Just give 'em great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.”
“The exact moment that two humans lay eyes on each other has awesome potency.”
“when meeting someone, our brains are in overdrive. Remember Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar? He said of Cassius, he "has a lean and hungry look . . . he thinks too much . . . such men are dangerous.”
“How do you put people at ease? By convincing them they are OK and that the two of you are similar. When you do that, you break down walls of fear, suspicion, and mistrust.”
“TECHNIQUE #10 MAKE A MOOD MATCH Before opening your mouth, take a "voice sample" of your listener to detect his or her state of mind. Take a "psychic photograph" of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.”
“TECHNIQUE #9 WATCH THE SCENE BEFORE YOU MAKE THE SCENE Rehearse being the Super Somebody you want to be ahead of time. SEE yourself walking around with Hang by Your Teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. HEAR yourself chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasure of knowing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all happens automatically”
“This is the look Winners have constantly. They stand with assurance. They move with confidence. They smile softly with pride. No doubt about it! Good posture symbolizes you are a man or woman who is used to being on top.”
“the difference between a respected vocabulary and a mundane one is only about fifty words!”
“When going to a gathering with great networking possibilities, the best way to ensure you are conversationally in the swing of things is to listen to a newscast just before you leave.”
“Right after you've talked to someone at a party, take out your pen. On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation: his favourite restaurant, sport, movie, or drink; whom she admires, where she grew up, a high school honour; or maybe a joke he told. In your next communication, toss off a reference to the favourite restaurant, sport, movie, drink, hometown, high school honour.”
