How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age

“My mother always said two people can’t fight if one person doesn’t want to,”

“foundational principles—don’t criticize, condemn, or complain; talk about others’ interests; if you’re wrong, admit it; let others save face. Such principles don’t make you a clever conversationalist or a resourceful raconteur. They remind you to consider others’ needs before you speak. They encourage you to address difficult subjects honestly and graciously. They prod you to become a kinder, humbler manager, spouse, colleague, salesperson, and parent. Ultimately, they challenge you to gain influence in others’ lives not through showmanship or manipulation but through a genuine habit of expressing greater respect, empathy, and grace.”

“Save someone's face once and your influence with him rises. Save his face every time you can, and there is practically nothing he won't do for you.”

“Become meaningful in your interactions and the path to success in any endeavor is simpler and far more sustainable.”

“A smile, someone once said, costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. Smile. It increases your face value.”

“British writer G. K. Chesterton’s reply to an invitation by the Times to write an essay on the subject “What’s Wrong with the World?” Chesterton’s response: Dear Sirs, I am. Sincerely, G. K. Chesterton”

“to influence others to act, you must first connect to a core desire within them.”

“there is no such thing as a neutral exchange. You leave someone either a little better or a little worse.”

“People are moved when their interactions with you always leave them a little better.”

“When we attempt to use criticism to win an argument, to make a point, or to incite change, we are taking two steps backward.”

“Influencing others is not a matter of outsmarting them. It is a matter of discerning what they truly want and offering it to them in a mutually beneficial package. “He knows so little and accomplishes so much,”

“Affirmation, in contrast to flattery, requires seeing someone well enough to sense what to affirm, knowing someone well enough to be aware of what really matters. Flattery is usually an admittance of insensibility, a betrayal of trust. We say things we think we should say, but in reality we aren’t thinking at all. What message does flattery send? “You don’t matter enough for me to pay you much mind.”

“You are one in seven billion—your progress is not meant for you alone.”

“When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.”

“Accesul favorizeaza interactiuneaInteractiunea favorizeaza relationareaRelatiile permite crearea afinitatilorAfinitatile conduc la influentaInfluenta duce la transformare”

“Dogs know by some divine instinct that you can make more friends in minutes by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in months of trying to get other people interested in you.”

“Many are accustomed to holding a sword called the First Amendment in one hand and a shield called the Fifth in the other—all the while forgetting that to do so is to deem human relations a battlefield. In many ways this culture of criticism and complaint is the unfortunate reality.”

“The Sea of Galilee is teeming with fish and life,” the priest began. “The Dead Sea is dead and devoid of life. They are both fed by the sparkling water of the River Jordan, so what’s the difference? The Sea of Galilee gives all its water away. The Dead Sea keeps it all for itself. Like the Dead Sea, when we keep all that is fresh and good for ourselves, we turn our lives into a briny soup of salty tears.”

“Isn’t it profound the influence one is afforded—even the smallest among us—when affirmation comes clean off our tongue and clear from our hearts? All great progress and problem solving with others begins when at least one party is willing to place what is already good on the table. From there it is much easier to know where to begin and how to lead the interaction to a mutually beneficial end.”

“People remember. And when a message is a mission, they will tell your story to anyone who will hear it—even a stranger at an airport.”

“Always begin and end the message on a positive note rather than on a pessimistic or detached one.”

“We all have an innate, unquenchable desire to know we are valued, to know we matter. Yet affirming this in each other is among the most challenging things to do in our day and age.”

“Perhaps what best typifies Reagan is the quote on the plaque that sat above his Oval Office desk. It read: “There is no limit to what a man can do, or where he can go, if he doesn’t mind who gets the credit.”3”

“If we do not understand the significance of our presence, we can never give anyone the present of our lives.”

“Maltoni concludes her thoughts on the success of TOMS with an insightful nod to the power of this principle: “People remember. And when a message is a mission, they will tell your story to anyone who will hear it—even a stranger at an airport. And by doing that, they become your strongest advocates in marketing your product. . . . The lesson: influence is given.”5”

“The people most widely respected within industries, companies, families, and groups of friends are those who are clear in their own viewpoints while remaining compassionate with those whose minds or behavior they would like to influence.”

“To leave the road of continual failure, a person must first utter the three most difficult words to say: ‘I was wrong.”

“And that’s what true leaders do. They unfold the lives of others and help them reach their God-given potential.”

“order to excel. Remember, abilities wither under criticism and blossom under encouragement”

“In an age where emerging leaders are skeptical of inauthentic leadership tactics, it is best to confront mistakes honestly while not using them as opportunities for condemnation. To many, passive-aggressive approaches or manipulative encounters with leaders diminish their view of that particular leader and make them cynical about their contribution to the task at hand or even the organization they serve. It is to your advantage to pull people out of their dejected state as quickly as possibly. Do so by calling out their mistakes quietly and returning them to a place of confidence and strength.”