Book Notes/How to Win Friends & Influence People
Cover of How to Win Friends & Influence People

How to Win Friends & Influence People

by Dale Carnegie

30 popular highlights from this book

Key Insights & Memorable Quotes

Below are the most popular and impactful highlights and quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People:

It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.
Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.
Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
Talk to someone about themselves and they'll listen for hours.
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’ That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you like to have that?"Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.
A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still
To be interesting, be interested.
Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument— and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.
All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory” was the motto of the King’s Guard in ancient Greece.
If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.
Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.
Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good, but that I heard never.
By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.
Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will.
Winning friends begins with friendliness.
Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
The chronic kicker, even the most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener— a listener who will be silent while the irate fault-finder dilates like a king cobra and spews the poison out of his system.
A barber lathers a man before he shaves him.
The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage.

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