Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Here are ten proven ways that embodied cognition can be used on a daily basis to change how you think and feel.”

“The core difference between optimists and pessimists is how they think good and bad events will impact their future.”

“Step 3: Consider these strengths. In writing, reflect on how using a combination of your signature strengths led to your peak experience or powerful positive event. It may have seemed like everything came together via circumstances from the outside, but look at it with this new lens. It is more likely that the positive feelings and experiences you had resulted from using the strengths within you.”

“Sit softly. Studies out of MIT suggest that those who sit in hard chairs when they negotiate are more inflexible than those sitting in soft chairs.78 Better negotiations happen in a physically comfortable environment.”

“The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection.” —Henri Nouwen”

“Step 1: Look at the list of character strengths you were using when you had your peak experience. Try to recall what it felt like to be operating on all cylinders.”

“To experience how this works, let’s imaginatively take something away that has been working in your life. Don’t worry, the good stuff will be immediately returned to you, but first, let me introduce you to an evil wizard.”

“Give yourself a nod. Notice when you are nodding to what is being said—it means you’re more likely to be in agreement. Being mindful80 of your nodding can also help you notice if you are subtly trying to convince yourself of something, giving you the space to decide if it’s what you truly want. On the other side of the coin, if you are looking to persuade others, subtly nodding while you’re talking increases the likelihood of them agreeing with you.”

“Sit up straight and cross your arms. Studies show that you can increase your persistence when you change your posture and fold your arms.76 Subjects who did this during difficult tasks were able to keep at them for twice as long as those who didn’t adopt these positions.”

“Smile. Believe it or not, it is that simple. Studies show that when you use the muscles in your face to create a smile, you’ll actually feel better.72 Try it. It feels odd the first few times, but the result is immediate, and it seems to instantly short-circuit negative thinking.”

“Here are just some of the results research has shown can come from optimistic thinking62 : A longer, happier life Fewer symptoms of depression Lower levels of stress Better cardiovascular health Lower risk of Alzheimer’s disease Higher levels of well-being More positive emotions Greater resilience and coping skills during difficult times Greater productivity More compassion Greater kindness Fewer negative thoughts Better sleep”

“Power walk and power pose. You may have heard about Sara Snodgrass’s power walking to increase your self-esteem, but fifty-five studies have recently confirmed that striking a “power pose” (think Wonder Woman)—as made popular by Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy—can increase your self-esteem and boost your confidence.77 How we hold our body does indeed affect our mind.”

“Flex your muscles. Tensing muscles increases willpower.73 Making a fist or gripping a pen has been shown to help cope with pain, keep from overeating, and be able to focus better.”

“Step 1: Sit in the negativity chair and let yourself speak—out loud—some of the negative thoughts or self-criticisms that you tend to have or have had in the past. In the other chair across from you is the you who is benevolent, a loving observer. Imagine that this kind part of you has your best interests at heart and is listening compassionately. Like a good friend, this kind self can ask questions or offer observations.”

“Exploration: Consult Your Kind Self How we act changes how we feel. To develop your self-compassion, use a simple role-reversal method with an empty chair.”

“People with high hope,64 a frame of mind we’ve been moving toward with our explorations, have been shown to have better65 : Psychological adjustment Academic performance and achievement Physical health and wellness Athletic performance Coping skills for illness and loss Social-emotional problem-solving Interpersonal relationships”

“Be kind. Kindness is one of the simplest ways to pull yourself out of a funk. By acting kind toward someone, you get out of your own head. The studies on kindness show that it is a powerhouse of positivity.81 Through a process known as elevation, when we do something kind for someone else, it not only makes us and them feel better, it also has the power to make anyone who witnesses it feel good as well. Acting kind changes how we feel about ourselves and how others respond to us.”

“Use your nondominant hand. Dieters did better when they ate using their nondominant hand, because it made them more mindful. When we consciously break our old habits, we can make better decisions.”

“Start small. We will talk more about setting micro-goals in Chapter 6, but for now start to tackle larger tasks (cleaning the basement, writing a report, paying the bills, etc.) by devoting only a few minutes to the chore. This changes the habit of procrastinating. Instead of delaying taking action by avoiding what is undesirable, by making the time very brief you can “act as if” you’re interested in what you are doing.”

“Even when good things happen for a pessimist, these outcomes don’t happen. This is because positive events are believed to be temporary, to be limited to one situation, and to have nothing to do with them personally. For pessimists, good things don’t stick, whereas the bad things in life are long-lasting, with far-ranging implications. This difference profoundly influences expectations, which in turn lead to a distinct outcome.”

“Optimists explain the same negative event a different way, as neither permanent nor pervasive, and don’t take it personally. Instead, they view it as a temporary hurdle, an isolated occurrence, and they see how it is controllable.”

“Circumstance does not make me, it reveals me.” —William James”

“and let your compassionate side speak, get up, switch chairs, and speak from this reversed role. Your kind self might ask why you are having a certain feeling or ask to hear more about something your negative self expressed.”

“Transcendence: Appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality88”

“Wisdom and Knowledge: Creativity or innovation, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective Courage: Bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality, zest Humanity: Love, kindness, social intelligence Justice: Citizenship, fairness, leadership Temperance: Forgiveness and mercy, humility, prudence, self-control”

“character strengths and virtues. You will see the six virtues in bold, and then the character strengths associated with them. As you recall this peak experience, write in your journal the top five or six strengths you were using at that time.”

“become an evil wizard with the power to take away those strengths: perhaps your love, or courage, or kindness, or creativity. Whatever strengths you were using during the peak experience, they are now utterly unavailable to you. Imagine that I could keep you from using any of those peak strengths for an entire month. List in your journal the feelings that result. Make the list as long as you can.”

“was going about as well as it could be. This peak period may have lasted a short time, or perhaps even for an entire stage of your life. It’s likely to stand out as a time when everything that happened produced a sense of alignment, or what might be called “flow.”

“Wash your hands. Researchers studying what has been called the “Macbeth effect” have found that you may be able to wash away your sins.79 Believe it or not, people who’ve engaged in immoral acts or behaviors will actually feel less guilty when they clean their hands afterward.”

“Step 3: Reverse roles—and chairs—as many times as you feel is necessary. Always start and end in the chair of your negative self. Afterward, be sure to journal what you can remember of your dialogue and your reactions.”