Sex Criminals, Vol. 1: One Weird Trick

“This guy.This fucking guy.”

“I've talked to girls who were so blasé about their orgasm. Like it was another thing to do, like I was making it too mythical, too big. Like it wasn't important. Fuck you. This is huge for me. I am God now.”

“Having sex in new locations can be exciting, like when Neil Armstrong fucked the moon.”

“Fellas! Want to drive her wild? Then learn how to fold a goddamn bath towel, Gerry, jesus FUCK.”

“When i'm 58 years old and on my deathbed, i'd better see through my one good eye Matt drawing a donger on my forehead, cum doodles dripping down my face like life-giving tears.”