The Confidence Game: Why We Fall for It . . . Every Time

“The confidence game—the con—is an exercise in soft skills. Trust, sympathy, persuasion. The true con artist doesn’t force us to do anything; he makes us complicit in our own undoing. He doesn’t steal. We give. He doesn’t have to threaten us. We supply the story ourselves. We believe because we want to, not because anyone made us. And so we offer up whatever they want—money, reputation, trust, fame, legitimacy, support—and we don’t realize what is happening until it is too late.”

“Gullibility may be deeply engrained in the human behavioral repertoire.”

“When it comes to you, I see clearly. When it comes to myself, I see what I want.”

“To do nothing is within the power of all men.”

“The simple truth is that most people aren’t out to get you. We are so bad at spotting deception because it’s better for us to be more trusting. Trust, and not adeptness at spotting deception, is the more evolutionarily beneficial path.”

“Human beings don't like to exist in a state of uncertainty or ambiguity. When something doesn't make sense, we want to supply the missing link. When we don't understand what or why or how something happened, we want to find the explanation.”

“At some point, everyone will be deceived. Everyone will fall victim to a confidence artist of one stripe or another. Everyone will fall for it. The real question is why. And can you ever understand your own mind well enough that you learn to extricate yourself before it’s too late?”

“He called it “egocentric anchoring”: we are our own point of departure. We assume that others know what we know, believe what we believe, and like what we like.”

“one study showed that having to pee made people more impulsive: they were so focused on exercising control in one area that their ability to do so elsewhere faded.)”

“Therein lies the power of the tale: it is a story of your exceptionalism.”

“Facts are up for debate. Stories are far trickier.”

“[O]ur minds are built for stories. We crave them, and, when there aren’t ready ones available, we create them. Stories about our origins. Our purpose. The reasons the world is the way it is. Human beings don’t like to exist in a state of uncertainty or ambiguity. When something doesn’t make sense, we want to supply the missing link. When we don’t understand what or why or how something happened, we want to find the explanation. A confidence artist is only too happy to comply—and the well-crafted narrative is his absolute forte.”