Book Notes/Three, Two, One [321]
Cover of Three, Two, One [321]

Three, Two, One [321]

by J.A. Huss

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No,” I whisper. “You said I wasn’t invested that night. And you were right. I wasn’t. I wasn’t invested in anything. Not the job, not JD, not the business, not even you. So I had to let you go, Blue. Because you deserve better than that. You deserve the kind of love that has no conditions. You deserve the kind of love that’s free. You deserve devotion. So I left so I could find a way to give you all those things.
got a past. Everybody is running from some demon or another. Everybody needs a second chance. If there’s a person out there who has not fucked up royally and needed a second chance… well, that person hasn’t lived yet.
the most beautiful moment I’ve had in my entire life. She is not one lost girl. We are not two best friends. We are one trinity of perfection.
are polar. I am north and he is south. We are equal and opposites in almost every way imaginable. We are this and that. Black and white. Rough and calm.
Three soulmates. Two broken hearts. One last chance to set it right.
One little girl. Two soulmates. And three mended hearts. I’m a believer now. I can see it with my own eyes. Everything should come in threes.
love two men. My soul has two mates. I love them equally, and with the same amount of fierce devotion. And I’ll fight to my death to have them both.
saw her first and that’s all you need to know.
Stand here looking lost and cold… I’ll pay you a hundred dollars. Let me kiss you like this, and you get two hundred. Get on your knees and suck my cock, and that’s five hundred. So it’s your call, darling. You tell me how much you need.
I love two men. My soul has two mates. I love them equally, and with the same amount of fierce devotion. And I’ll fight to my death to have them both.
too. Sometimes you just gotta drop that baggage you’ve been carrying around and leave it behind.
story was a blessing and a curse. A reason to stay and a reason to leave.
She is not one lost girl. We are not two best friends. We are one trinity of perfection.
You’re so beautiful. Your eyes are like the water you see in those pictures of paradise. A color that can’t be described because a word for it can’t do it justice. And your hair is gold, like the sun. You’re my paradise, Blue. You and Ark are all I have left.” “I’m yours, JD. If you want me, I’m yours.” “No, Blue,” he whispers back. “You’re ours.
I see stars. I see heaven. I see every good thing I ever forgot. I feel the pain mixed with the pleasure. And his hard body—muscled and sweaty from confessions, and lust, and need—weighs me down. My throat stops drawing in air and my chest stops rising. And in that same moment the darkness takes over.In that same moment… We come.
is not one lost girl. We are not two best friends. We are one trinity of perfection.
Be sure, Blue. Because what you desire can’t be achieved unless we cross some lines. Do you want to cross lines with me?” I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes. “Yes, please.” He slaps my face so hard, I fall to the ground. My knees hit the hard wood floor, making me scream out. He grabs my hair and pulls me back to my feet, and then drags me over to the bed and throws me down face-first.
He waits in silence as I consider my answer. My body is sore. My face is still stinging from all the slaps. But my God, I’ve never felt so… alive.
It took weeks to clean him up and he had like two dozen relapses. Every time I took him back to rehab, they asked me why I bothered. And I always told them the same thing. Because no one else will. Everybody’s got a past. Everybody is running from some demon or another. Everybody needs a second chance. If there’s a person out there who has not fucked up royally and needed a second chance… well, that person hasn’t lived yet.
One girl. Two friends. Three soulmates. Does it get any better than this?
We are not three people in a bed. We are not two people finding our climax. We are one.
Because even though this morning my acceptance felt a little bit like salvation, this evening it has a whole new feel. Defeat. It feels like I’m giving up. Like I’m giving in to what they made me. A prisoner. It feels like the end. And after a few minutes of pondering this as I stay still and silent like I’ve been taught to do, I realize I like that. I want the darkness to take over. I wish I was drugged up again so I could stop caring. I wish someone would drug me and make the darkness cover me like dirt over a grave. And maybe these guys are the answer to that prayer. Maybe these guys will finally do what the other ones never would. Maybe these guys will just let me die.
Because I’m not legit. I’m nothing but a scammer. A cheater. A walking piece of shit. And everything that has come out of my mouth the past four years has been a lie.
Money does that to you. Money changes you. I said it never would, but I was wrong. Something happens when you no longer have to worry about buying food and paying rent. It’s a subtle shift.
It’s not a conventional love story. It’s not really a happily ever after. And it sure wasn’t the easiest way for two people to find each other. But all the broken pieces are finally back together. We are whole. And that’s all that matters.
Omne trium perfectum.’ Every set of three is perfect.
I'm afraid if i go out again, i'll remember what he took from me. All these feeling of captivity will finally disappear and i will realize i am free. And i'll be like a bird whose cage door is left open. They don't understand that they're free. So they sit there, inside the cage and refuse to fly away.
were part of a baby-selling ring, Blue. No. I shake the thought out of my head. I was a prisoner, like Ark said. They locked me in a cage for four months when they first found out. That’s how they kept me in the months after it was determined I couldn’t conceive. Every night they came and took me to the lounge. And every night I had a flock member to please in any way they wanted. I was not one of them.
can I fix this? How can I make these men mine when they have this shared sad past?

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