WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game

We are the ones we've been waiting for. WE.ARE.THE.WOLVES.

Failure is not something to be ashamed of—nor is it proof of unworthiness. Failure is something to be powered by. When we live afraid to fail, we don’t take risks. We don’t bring our entire selves to the table—so we end up failing before we even begin. Let’s stop worrying: What if I fail? Instead, let’s promise ourselves: When I fail, I’ll stick around.

CALL TO THE WOLFPACK: Be grateful. But do not JUST be grateful. Be grateful AND brave. Be grateful AND ambitious. Be grateful AND righteous. Be grateful AND persistent. Be grateful AND loud. Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve.

Leadership is taking care of yourself and empowering others to do the same. Leadership is not a position to earn, it’s an inherent power to claim. Leadership is the blood that runs through your veins—it’s born in you. It’s not the privilege of a few, it is the right and responsibility of all. Leader is not a title that the world gives to you—it’s an offering that you give to the world.

CALL TO THE WOLFPACK: Believe in yourselves. Stand up and say: GIVE ME THE EFFING BALL. GIVE ME THE EFFING JOB. GIVE ME THE SAME PAY THAT THE GUY NEXT TO ME GETS. GIVE ME THE PROMOTION. GIVE ME THE MICROPHONE. GIVE ME THE OVAL OFFICE. GIVE ME THE RESPECT I DESERVE— AND GIVE IT TO MY WOLFPACK, TOO.

You might find yourself holding a baby instead of a briefcase and fearing that your colleagues are “getting ahead” and leaving you behind. Here’s what’s important: You are allowed to be disappointed when it feels like life’s benched you. What you aren’t allowed to do is miss your opportunity to lead from the bench. If you’re not a leader on the bench, don’t call yourself a leader on the field. You’re either a leader everywhere or nowhere.

CALL TO THE WOLFPACK: Her victory is your victory. Celebrate with her. Your victory is her victory. Point to her.

Note: When they say you're ridiculous, you know you're onto something.

Recently, on a call with a company hiring me to teach about leadership, a man said, "Excuse me, Abby, I just need to ensure that what you present is applicable to men, too."I said, "Good question! But only if you've asked every male speaker you;ve hired if his message is applicable to women, too.

Leadership is volunteering at the local school, speaking encouraging words to a friend, and holding the hand of a dying parent. It’s tying dirty shoelaces and going to therapy and saying to our families and friends: No. We don’t do unkindness here. It’s signing up to run for the school board and it’s driving that single mom’s kid home from practice and it’s creating boundaries that prove to the world that you value yourself. Leadership is taking care of yourself and empowering others to do the same.

Claim your power, and bring along your full humanity. Clear the way for others to do the same. Because what our families, our companies, and the world needs is nothing more—and nothing less— than exactly who we are.

A woman who doesn’t give up can never lose.

You will not always be the goal scorer. When you are not, you better be rushing toward her.

When we live afraid to fail, we don’t take risks. We don’t bring our entire selves to the table—so we end up failing before we even begin.

You were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf.

CALL TO THE WOLFPACK: Wear what you want. Love who you love. Become what you imagine. Create what you need. You were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf.

Old Rule: Stay on the path.New Rule: Create your own path.

Women must stop following the Old Rules, which exist only to maintain the status quo. If we follow the rules we've always followed, the game will remain the same. Old ways of thinking will never help us build a new world. Out with the Old. In with the New.

We can choose our own comfort even if it makes other people uncomfortable.

The world needs to see women take risks, fail big, and insist on their right to stick around and try again. And again. And again. A champion never allows a short-term failure to take her out of the long-term game. A woman who doesn't give up can never lose.

Here’s what’s important: You are allowed to be disappointed when it feels like life’s benched you. What you aren’t allowed to do is miss your opportunity to lead from the bench. If you’re not a leader on the bench, don’t call yourself a leader on the field. You’re either a leader everywhere or nowhere.

Old Rule: Wait for permission to lead.New Rule: Lead now - from wherever you are.

What keeps the pay gap in existence is not just the entitlement and complicity of men. It's the gratitude of women. Our gratitude is how power uses the tokenism of a few women to keep the rest of us in line.

Wear what you want.Love who you love.Become what you imagine.Create what you need.You were never Little Red Riding Hood.You were always the Wolf.

Women - who are feared by many to be a threat to our system - will become our society's salvation.

If you have a voice, you have influence to spread.If you have relationships, you have hearts to guide.If you know young people, you have futures to mold.If you have privilege, you have power to share.If you have money, you have support to give.If you have a ballot, you have policy to shape.If you have pain, you have empathy to offer.If you have freedom, you have others to fight for.If you are alive, you are a leader.

Abby, You were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf. There is a wolf inside of every woman. Her wolf is who she was made to be before the world told her who to be. Her wolf is her talent, her power, her dreams, her voice, her curiosity, her courage, her dignity, her choices—her truest identity.

NEW RULES 1. Create your own path. 2. Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve. 3. Lead now—from wherever you are. 4. Failure means you’re finally IN the game. 5. Be FOR each other. 6. Believe in yourself. Demand the ball. 7. Lead with humanity. Cultivate Leaders. 8. You’re not alone. You’ve got your Pack.

[...] insist upon remembering. Because we know that the lessons of yesterday's loss become the fuel for tomorrow's win.

You see, soccer didn’t make me who I am. I brought who I am to soccer, and I get to bring who I am wherever I go. So do you.