Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers

“You gain courage and confidence from doing the things you think you cannot do.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Stop consenting. Stop colluding. Stop being that nice little girl you were taught to be in childhood!”

“There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

“A personal brand is a promise of performance that creates expectations in its audience. Done well, it clearly communicates the values, personality, and abilities of the person behind it.”

“Prepare for every negotiation... 1) Focus on Outcomes. What is it that you want to walk away with? Being as specific as possible also increases the likelihood of negotiation success. 2) Support your desired outcome with data that points to its reasonableness. 3) Writing down your key points in advance - and practicing them - enables you to stay focused on what's most important and avoid going off on tangents. 4) Err on the side of asking for more, rather than less [of what you really want]. 5) Be willing to walk away.”

“Understand that it is unlikely that you will change the size of the playing field to suit your needs. Playing your game at the edge can help to stretch the boundaries, but if it’s too narrowly defined for you, start looking for a bigger field.”

“Working without a break also contributes to the impression that you’re flustered or inefficient.”

“Women act powerfully all the time, but in ways different from men.”

“Completely, totally, and permanently erase the statement “Oh—it was nothing” from your vocabulary.”

“Being a girl is certainly easier than being a woman. Girls don’t have to take responsibility for their destiny. Their choices are limited by a narrowly defined scope of expectations. And here’s another reason why we continue to exhibit the behaviors learned in childhood even when at some level we know they’re holding us back: We can’t see beyond the boundaries that have traditionally circumscribed the parameters of our influence. It’s dangerous to go out-of-bounds. When you do, you get accused of trying to act like a man or being “bitchy.” All in all, it’s easier to behave in socially acceptable ways.”

“Every job in every organization is critical to its operation. You may not be the president of Nestlé, but you wouldn’t have your job if it wasn’t necessary to run the business. Identifying why your business needs you is crucial to accurately marketing your brand.”

“the opposite of a nice girl isn’t a bitch—it’s a winning woman. The difference is that a nice girl acts in ways that are designed to make others like her, and a winning woman acts in ways that ensure her goals are met by knowing what she wants, having clarity about where she’s headed, and achieving both through high likability and emotional intelligence.”

“You Play the Game How You Act How You Think How You Brand & Market Yourself How You Sound How You Look How You Respond   1.   2.   3.   4.   5.   6.   7.   8.   9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. Category Total Category Total Category Total Category Total Category Total Category Total Category Total Overall Total INTERPRETATION OF YOUR SCORES Overall Score of 159–196 or A Category Score of 22–28 You go, girl! Your score indicates you must already have the corner office or are well on your way to getting it. To stay on track, focus on those questions where you rated yourself “1” or “2.” Also, remember to pay it forward by mentoring other women. Overall Score of 110–158 or A Category Score of 14–21 Fine-tuning is the name of your game! Although you often engage in behaviors worthy of a winning woman, there are times when you don’t get your due because you get caught up in nice girl syndrome. First read the chapters that correspond with your lowest category scores, then go back and read the rest as a refresher course. Overall Score of 49–109 or A Category Score of 7–13 Danger! You are falling into the trap of acting like the nice little girl you were taught to be in childhood. You frequently wonder why you’re not achieving the success you’ve worked so hard for. This book was written for you, so take out your pen and start making notations for what you commit to doing differently.”

“COACHING TIPS • Give yourself permission to “waste” a little time. If you’re not spending 5 percent of your day building relationships, you’re doing something wrong. • Define your work hours and stick with them. Remember Parkinson’s Law: “Work expands to fill the time available.” This isn’t to say there won’t be times when you must work overtime, but if you’re consistently the last one left at the office, there’s something wrong with that picture.”

“No matter what hand life deals us, we are ultimately left with the dilemma of how we choose to respond.”

“Consider yourself an “internal consultant.” Regardless of your position, your experience and expertise, combined with strong relationships, provide you with an entrée to this function. When branding and marketing yourself, don’t forget to use the phrase to describe what you do.”

“•  Continually ask yourself, What are we not doing currently that if we started doing would fundamentally change how we did business?”

“When assigned a project or task, avoid the tendency to start doing. Take time to think it through, plan it, identify resources, and so forth. Break it down into small parts with benchmarks that enable you to measure and report progress on an ongoing basis, rather than when the project is completed. It also makes everything on your plate more easily digested.”

“Women are less likely to make tough but necessary decisions because they’re afraid to rock the boat and lose their jobs.”

“Explanations coming from an adult woman make them seem unsure of themselves and, at times, somewhat childish.”

“Making things look easy or seamless when in fact they required herculean efforts isn’t a great marketing technique.”

“Consider how these behaviors distinguish you from others. For example, the ability to gather and report data may be unique in a department or company known mainly for producing a product. Or having skill in building relationships may be unique and valuable in an organization where intellectual capital is the product. •   Finish this sentence: “There goes a woman who _______________________.” Now engage in the behaviors required to make that statement a reality.”

“Make a list of the three to five things that bring you the most satisfaction at work. We tend to be good at what we like, so focusing first on these will help to point you in the right direction.”

“Rather than responding to the details of an assignment, before beginning consider how it could be done faster, cheaper, or more effectively.”

“Focus on quality, not quantity. Staying at work additional hours doesn’t make you more effective at your job or perceived as more valuable to the company (if overtime isn’t a company expectation). In fact, it could make you seem overwhelmed and inefficient.”

“They do it by realizing it’s more efficient to go back and correct a mistake (if there is one) than to keep reviewing a project to possibly catch one.”

“It’s not bragging if you speak the truth, use your title, and comment on a few things of which you’re proud.”

“Strive for 80 percent perfection. The difference between 80 percent and 100 percent won’t be noticed by most people but will buy you more time to shift to other important tasks.”

“Listen carefully to the question you’re asked and answer it simply and objectively. The question “Why wasn’t the project done on time?” isn’t an indication that the person expects you to point the finger at yourself. More than likely, there are good reasons why the project wasn’t completed on time, and those reasons are what you should offer in response.”

“Send guilt on a trip. It serves absolutely no purpose in your life. When you start feeling guilty, ask yourself what you can realistically change to make the situation better and act on it. If the answer is that nothing can be done differently, then move on.”