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The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit
by Mel Robbins
In "The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit," Mel Robbins emphasizes the transformative power of self-encouragement and the importance of nurturing a positive relationship with oneself. Central to Robbins' message is the idea that individuals must take responsibility for their dreams and happiness, as external validation and acceptance are insufficient for fulfillment. She introduces practical strategies, such as the "5 Second Rule," to combat procrastination and self-doubt, urging readers to take immediate action despite their fears. Robbins discusses how feelings like jealousy can serve as indicators of unfulfilled desires, suggesting that shifting these emotions into inspiration can propel personal growth. She underscores the significance of self-forgiveness and the necessity of confronting negative self-perceptions to foster self-esteem and resilience. The author asserts that a supportive internal dialogue is crucial, advocating for a mindset that prioritizes self-celebration over criticism. Ultimately, Robbins argues that our mindset shapes our experiences, and by choosing to uplift ourselves daily, we pave the way for a more fulfilling life. The book serves as a guide to reclaiming one's agency, promoting the belief that everyone deserves love and acceptance from within, independent of external opinions.
30 popular highlights from this book
Key Insights & Memorable Quotes
Below are the most popular and impactful highlights and quotes from The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit:
You also need to learn how to give people the space to have those feelings and not make it mean anything about you.
if you find yourself riddled with self-doubt: the world didn’t say, “You can’t have this.” YOU did.
jealousy is simply blocked desire. If you could flip that jealousy into inspiration, the block would disappear. If you could celebrate jealousy as a sign of your next big step in life, it immediately lifts the burden of frustration and insecurity you feel, and gets you moving forward with a high five attitude again.
You have no idea how much easier things could be if you stopped being so hard on yourself.
Your dreams are your responsibility. No one is coming.
The 5 Second Rule.” Just like NASA uses a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown to launch a rocket, I counted down 5-4-3-2-1 to launch myself into action before my negative thoughts pinned me down. I’m dead serious. Alarm rings. No staring at the ceiling. No panic attack. No snooze button. No rolling over and shoving your head under the pillow to blot out the day. 5-4-3-2-1: kick your own ass.
if you can’t value yourself, you will look for validation from other people.
When it comes to your dreams, you have two choices: pursue them or be haunted by them.
Your mind is designed to help you achieve your dreams. Your job is to believe it is possible and encourage yourself to keep walking toward it.
your relationship with yourself is the foundation of every relationship you have in life.
You have to stand face-to-face with that part of you that you hate, forgive yourself for the hurt you’ve caused (especially to yourself), and do the work to become a better you. It’s the only way to create the self-respect and build the self-esteem that you desire.
One of the most important revelations you can ever have is that your life and your happiness begins and ends inside your own mind. What you say to yourself, how you treat yourself, and the thoughts that run on repeat are everything. It does not matter how successful, thin, famous, muscular, or wealthy you become, if you always focus on what’s “wrong” with you, you’ll never be happy.
I gave myself permission to believe I could have these things. That permission to believe you are capable and worthy of having what you desire is powerful.
jealousy is an indicator that you can and should have that thing you are craving.
Act like the person you want to become, no matter how you feel right now.
I FORGIVE myself for the things I did when I was trying to survive. Every day I am becoming a better version of myself.
Do it anyway. Part of the reason why you don’t have what you want in your life is because when you don’t feel like doing it, you don’t do it. Your life only gets easier when you do the hard things all the time. Push through your resignation and do it.
you thrive when you receive this kind of support. Feeling encouragement, believed in, and celebrated are the most inspiring forces on the planet.
First of all, your very existence is so miraculous you should feel seen and celebrated! First, the odds of you being born are one in a million because your mom carries over one million eggs during her lifetime. Crazy, but that’s not even close to the mathematical phenomenon you are. Based on recent research, scientists have figured out that the egg that formed you was choosy and could determine which of your father’s 250 million sperm cells it wanted to connect with. If the egg that created you chose any other sperm, your sibling would be holding this book because you never would have been born.
But you may not know that you have three core emotional needs: to be seen, heard, and loved for the unique individual that you are. When those emotional needs aren’t met, it’s not only a form of neglect, but you will feel unloved, invisible, and unfulfilled.
You don’t need to change anything to deserve the love and acceptance you need. You just need to start giving yourself that validation
this is core to a very big lie we believe: what other people think of you is more important than what you think of yourself. You bought into this bullsh*t your whole life because people you love taught you to believe it.
It gets conditioned into you that love and acceptance are transactional. If you do what I say, then I’ll love you. Come to think of it, that’s exactly why you withhold love from yourself, you learned to in childhood.
They’ve told themselves they suck so many times over the years and compiled so much evidence that it is true that this belief is now programmed into their subconscious mind. That’s why the person you love will even argue with you when you tell them how great you think they are.
Stop and think about it. How does criticizing yourself actually help you? What if you could flip that and learn how to cheer yourself forward every day, every week, every year of your life, step by step, as you move toward your goals and your dreams?
Part of the reason why you don’t have what you want in your life is because when you don’t feel like doing it, you don’t do it. Your life only gets easier when you do the hard things all the time. Push through your resignation and do it.
But when it comes to celebrating and encouraging yourself, you not only fall seriously short—you do the opposite. You trash yourself. You look at yourself in the mirror and pick yourself apart.
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything in your life.
Regardless of how you learned to beat yourself up, the bottom line is if it makes you miserable, you have a responsibility to change it.
every day you have a choice. You can turn toward the pull of your dreams or argue against it. Fighting that desire inside you and telling yourself, It will never happen for me create so much tension in your life.
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