Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You

“This hypervigilance carries over into emotional monitoring, which means we’re constantly scanning other people’s emotional states to gauge what they may be feeling so that we can adapt.”

“Because once we stop focusing so much on what others think, we can remember who we are.”

“this loneliness is masked by hyperindependence, a deep-rooted belief that you need to handle everything on your own, that it’s unsafe to ask for help or rely on others, because you had to be your own parent when you were so young.”

“There’s grief in realizing that you shouldn’t need to beg to have a close relationship with your parent.”