Killing Sarai
by J.A. Redmerski
"Killing Sarai" by J.A. Redmerski explores themes of trauma, identity, and the complex dynamics of survival. The story centers around Sarai, a young woman escaping a life of abuse and servitude, and Victor, a killer who helps her find freedom while grappling with his own moral ambiguities. Key ideas include the contrast between fear and uncertainty; Sarai embodies rage and vulnerability, while Victor represents discipline and control. Their relationship is fraught with tension, as both characters navigate emotional scars and the danger of their circumstances. Sarai’s journey is not just about physical escape but also about reclaiming her identity and confronting the emotional turmoil that has defined her existence. The author emphasizes the importance of self-trust and instinct over reliance on others, highlighting that true safety and healing come from within. The narrative delves into the duality of human nature,how love can emerge from the darkest places and how deeply rooted trauma can shape one's identity. Ultimately, "Killing Sarai" is a poignant exploration of resilience, the complexities of human connections, and the struggle for autonomy in a world filled with chaos and danger.
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Below are the most popular and impactful highlights and quotes from Killing Sarai:
And when I get mad, I always cry. It’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember. And I hate it.
I want her to look upon me, just for a moment. But she never does and I walk away. Sarai I feel like I should be like Cordelia, sitting next to me wide awake yet unaware of it herself.
Isso vai contra tudo o que eu sou, Sarai." Ele diz e, em seguida, beija-me. "Não, não vai." Eu sussurro e beijo de volta. "É você tornando-se mais quem você realmente é.
I turn toward the window beside me because unlike Victor, I have absolutely no control over the smile on my face, and I can’t risk letting him see it. ~~~~
There is a stark difference between fear and uncertainty, Sarai. You fear nothing but are uncertain of everything.
You made me feel real emotions. You unlocked me.
I don’t want to sleep alone,” she says gently. And I don’t force her to. Sarai falls fast asleep curled up next to me in my bed. Right where I want her.
She looks defeated. Beautiful and soft and damaged standing there before me partially clothed in the light of the moon beaming through the tall window. Beautiful, but defeated. That look in her eyes, it somehow latches onto my soul and all I want is for her to turn and walk away. Because I know that if she doesn't, if she presses me further with those soft lips and sad, vulnerable eyes that I'll succumb to the moment and either fuck her or kill her.
Victor Faust did much more than help me escape a life of abuse and servitude. He changed me.He changed the landscape of my dreams, the dreams I had every day about living ordinarily and freeand on my own. He changed the colors on the palette from primary to rainbow—as dark as the colorsof that rainbow may be.
This goes against everything that I am, Sarai," he says and then kisses me. "No, it doesn't," I whisper and kiss him back. "It's you becoming more of who you really are.
I am not your hero. I am not the other half of your soul who could never let anything bad ever happen to you. -trust your instincs first always, and me, if you choose, last.
Beautiful but defeated and damaged. Damaged for the rest of her life and no amount of emotional mutilation will ever fully give her back her innocence. The girl is a ticking time bomb, a danger to herself and very possibly to others. I wasn’t sure before, but now I know that she is more unstable than I ever could have imagined. And because she is so skilled at hiding it, not only from me but also from herself, she is more dangerous than I am.
Despite my growing fear, I still want to be right where I am, trapped in the merciless arms of a killer.
I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, but it’s not a guarantee because no matter how much you trust me, you should never, under any circumstances trust anyone fully. In the end, you can only trust yourself. I am not your hero. I am not the other half of your soul who could never let anything bad ever happen to you. Trust your instincts first always, and me, if you choose, last
I am discipline. Sarai is rage.
I’m definitely not some kind of reformed badass created by my extraordinary experiences, either. Just ask the spider that crawled on me the other night while I was reading a book in bed. Mrs. Gregory about had a heart attack I screamed so loud.
