Summary of Alice Miller's The drama of The Gifted Child

“The need to be taken seriously is an important prerequisite for the healthy development of a child.”

“A child who is raised by a mirroring, available mother will develop a healthy self-feeling.”

“A mother who is not especially warmhearted can still provide this environment for her child, as long as she allows him to acquire what she lacks from other people.”

“The grandiose person is never really free, because he is excessively dependent on admiration from others and because his self-respect is dependent on qualities, functions, and achievements that can suddenly fail. #8 Grandiosity and depression are often seen together in patients. Grandiosity is the false self, and depression is the void that is created when the false self breaks down. The former child no longer exists, and the former parents are now old and dependent. #9 Grandiosity and depression are similar in that they are both a result of the loss of a potential true self. They are also similar in that they are both a result of the denial of the emotional world of a person’s childhood.”

“Every child has a need to be noticed, understood, taken seriously, and respected by his mother. In the first weeks and months of life, he needs to have the mother at his disposal.”

“The person who is grandiose is admired by everyone and needs this admiration. He must excel brilliantly in everything he undertakes, which he is surely capable of doing. He also admires himself for his qualities and success.”