Catastrophe

“Dad, wearing my face, looked at me with horror and I stared at him.”

“you seem to have somehow forgotten how to act like a normal human being?  Well,”

“my friends. I’d expected him to have the worst day of his life, just like me.”

“Hiding”

“broke”

“Tom had very smartly disappeared off to football practice as soon as he saw Dad coming. He was lucky.”

“You trip over the smallest thing, you spill drinks all over your clothes, you seem to have somehow forgotten how to act like a normal human being?”

“Do you mean when you say things like: ‘Oh God, I’m too young to die?”

“million.”

“He barked in a voice which made me flinch.”

“SWAP YOUR FAT BODY WITH A FIT BODY IN THREE DAYS WITH THIS SIMPLE TRICK!”

“Let’s rock and roll!”

“planning”

“frustrating.”

“My hair springs around on my head, making me look like a mad professor if I even breathe in the wrong direction.”

“I sat silent and alone in the car and closed my eyes, hoping and praying for everything to return to normal. I wasn’t that lucky.”

“Jack, R U alrite? That was the first text I got from Tom, my best friend. I peeked out from under the comforter to read it, then wrapped the blanket around my head again without replying. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him right now. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone. I just wanted to lie in the dark and pretend I didn’t exist. The cell phone buzzed again. I sighed. I made a little hole, just large enough for my eye, and stared angrily at the phone. I wanted it to realize what it was doing was wrong. That I wanted to be left alone. The phone stared back at me, a small notification light flashing on the top of the device. I picked it up and looked again. R U there? I heard U askd Jasmine 2 the dance! R U crazy??? D: )-:< I wished I was crazy. That would have made everything so much simpler. When I retreated back into my cave this time, I tried putting my pillow on my head too, hoping that it would stop the sound of the phone from cutting into my solitude. I closed my eyes as tightly as I could and tried to wish everything back to normal. That works sometimes in the movies, right? BUZZ BUZZ. “Agh!” I jumped slightly as the phone somehow buzzed even louder this time (how did it do that?) and the pillow flew off my head. Sunlight shone in through the window, blinding me. I squinted and waited for my room to blur into focus. The white walls, my posters of awesome superheroes, my laptop, my guitar… I grumbled as I leaned over and looked at my phone screen again. Wat abt HOLLY? UR GRLFRND? Ppl are sayn she is very upset! I threw the phone down on my bed. It bounced twice and ended up balancing on the edge of the mattress. I didn’t blame Holly. I was also very upset. A few weeks ago, my life had been pretty much perfect. I had the hottest girl in school as my girlfriend, I was a star player on the football team, I had a band that was definitely going to be famous someday soon, and it was all going my way. Now it was all gone, swirling towards disaster. Actually, disaster was a while back. Now things were definitely swirling towards complete chaos. My life was destroyed and I was hiding in my bed. That doesn’t happen in the movies. My phone buzzed again.”

“plan into”

“I think I understand the-” I put my foot on the accelerator and the Rust Bucket jolted forward, A LOT faster than I expected. “SLOW SLOW SLOW!” My dad shouted and I slammed my foot onto the brake pedal. We were thrown forward in our seats as the Rust Bucket came to an abrupt halt. I turned to Dad. He scowled at me. I grinned back. “Easy as pie,” I said weakly. Dad didn’t seem to agree. I wasn’t sure I did either. My heart was pounding loudly in my ears. I had always dreamed of turning up to school in a red Ferrari and making all my friends jealous, (ultimately, of course, they would all want to hang out and go on road trips with me). Now”

“home,” she said, tears forming in her eyes and she ran out of the room. “Holly, wait!” I shouted after her. Tom was quick to follow. “I’ll make sure she gets home OK, Mr. Stevenson,” he said too quickly. “Jack, you’ve got to get your head in the game!” he added quietly, before leaving the garage and going back into the house.”

“WOMAN CLAIMS TO HAVE SWAPPED BODIES WITH CAT – SAYS SHE COUGHED UP HAIRBALLS FOR A WEEK.”

“ladies because I”

“. Someone wrote: ‘Who is the most beautiful girl in school?’ in permanent marker in the boys’ bathrooms outside the geography classes and within a few days, ‘Holly Lawson’ was written around it in a bunch of other pens by hundreds of different people! (Someone also wrote ‘Jennifer Hunds’ in small, neat handwriting near the bottom, but everyone knows that was written by Kyle Williams who has had a crush on her since Kindergarten, so that doesn’t count.)”

“The police department does NOT have a sense of humor!”

“to get through just”

“felt sick. It was disgusting! The”

“clenched”