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Beautiful Disaster

by Jamie McGuire

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“To douchebags!" he said, gesturing to Brad. "And to girls that break your heart," he bowed his head to me. His eyes lost focus. "And to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her.”
“I knew the second I met youthat there was something about you I needed. Turns out it wasn’t something about you at all. It was just you.”
“I know we're fucked up, alright? I'm impulsive, and hot tempered, and you get under my skin like no one else. You act like you hate me one minute, and then need me the next. I never get anything right, and I don't deserve you...but I fucking love you, Abby. I love you more than I loved anyone or anything ever. When you're around, I don't need booze, or money, or the fighting, or the one-night stands...”
“You can’t tell mewhat to do anymore, Travis! I don’t belong to you!”In the second it took him to turn and face me, hisexpression had contorted into anger. He stomped towardme, planting his hands on the bed and leaning into my face.“WELL I BELONG TO YOU!” The veins in his neckbulged as he shouted, and I met his glare, refusing to evenflinch. He looked at my lips, panting. “I belong to you.”
“It's over. Go home.You're my home.”
“I belong to my beloved, and my beloved is mine.”
“You know why I want you? I didn’t know I was lost until you found me. I didn’t know what alone was until the first night I spent without you in my bed. You’re the one thing I’ve got right. You’re what I’ve been waiting for, Pigeon.”
“Let me guess, it's the love of your life?" I said quoting Travis' statement about his motorcycle."No, it's a car. The love of my life will be a women with my last name.”
“I need to hear you say it. I need to know you’re mine.” “I’ve been yours since the second we met.”
“I don't get scared very often," he said finally. "I was scared the first morning I woke up and you weren't here. I was scared when you left me after Vegas. I was scared when I thought I was going to have to tell my dad that Trent had died in that building. But when I saw you across the flames in the basement...I was terrified. I made it to the door, was a few feet from the exit, and I couldn't leave. "What do you mean? Are you crazy?" I said, my head jerking up to look into his eyes. "I've never been so clear about anything in my life. I turned around, made my way to that room you were in, and there you were. Nothing else mattered. I didn't even know if we would make it out or not, I just wanted to be where you were, whatever that meant. The only thing I'm afraid of is a life without you, Pigeon." I leaned up, kissing his lips tenderly. When our mouths parted, I smiled. "Then you have nothing to be afraid of. We're forever.”
“He scanned my face with careful hope in his eyes. “You love me?” “It’s the tattoos,” I shrugged. A wide smile stretched across his face, making his dimple sink into his cheek.”
“It wasn’t just me, and it wasn’t just him, it was what we were together that was the exception.”
“It's dangerous to need someone that much. You're trying to save him and he's hoping you can. You two are a disaster." I smiled at the ceiling. "It doesn't matter what or why it is. When it's good, Kara... it's beautiful.”
“I'm not your anything," I snapped, glaring up at him. His eyebrows pulled in and he stopped dancing. "You're my everything.”
“I clinked my bottle against his. “To being the only girl a guy with no standards doesn’t want to sleep with.” I said, taking a swig. “Are you serious?” he asked, pulling the bottle from my mouth. When I didn’t recant, he leaned toward me. “First of all…I have standards. I’ve never been with an ugly woman. Ever. Second of all, I wanted to sleep with you. I thought about throwing you over my couch fifty different ways, but I haven’t because I don’t see you that way anymore. It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, I just think you’re better than that.” I couldn’t hold back the smug smile that crept across my face. “You think I’m too good for you.” He sneered at my second insult. “I can’t think of a single guy I know that’s good enough for you.”
“I fucking love you!” He grabbed each side of my face, slamming his lips against mine. “I love you so much, Pigeon,” he said, kissing me over and over. “Just remember that in fifty years when I’m still kicking your ass in poker,” I giggled. He smiled, triumphant. “If it means sixty or seventy years with you, Baby…you have my full permission to do your worst.” I raised one eyebrow, “You’re gonna regret that.” “You wanna bet?” I smiled with as much deviance as I could muster.”
“He was afraid of nothing. Until he'd met me.”
“You just asked me to marry you," he said, still waiting for me to admit some kind of trickery."I know.""That was the real deal, you know. I just booked two tickets to Vegas for noon tomorrow. So that means we're getting married tomorrow night.""Thank you."His eyes narrowed. "You're going to be Mrs. Maddox when you start classes on Monday.""Oh," I said, looking around. Travis raised an eyebrow."Second thoughts?""I'm going to have some serious paperwork to change next week."He nodded slowly, cautiously hopeful. "You're going to marry me tomorrow?"I smiled. "Uh huh""You're serious?""Yep.""I fucking love you!" He grabbed each side of my face, slamming his lips against mine. "I love you so much, Pigeon," he said, kissing me over and over.”
“Make way! Move it, people! Lets make room for this poor woman's hideously disfigured, ginormous brain! She's a fucking genius!”
“Abs? What are you, a workout video?" he sneered. "Pigeon?" I said with the same amount of disdain. "An annoying bird that craps all over the sidewalk?""You like Pigeon," he said defensively. "It's a dove, an attractive girl, a winning card in poker, take your pick. You're my Pigeon.”
“You just want me to hold you until you fall asleep?"I didn't answer.He shifted to look straight into my eyes. "I should say no to prove a point," he said, his eyebrows pulling together. "But I would hate myself later if I said no and you never asked me again.”
“I smiled to fight the tears. "Fifty bucks says you'll be thanking me for this when you meet your future wife." Travis's eyebrow pulled together as his face fell. "That's an easy bet. The only woman I'd ever wanna marry just broke my heart.”
“I know you deserve better than me. You think I don’t know that? But if there was any woman made for me…it’s you. I’ll do whatever I have to do, Pidge. Do you hear me? I’ll do anything.”
“I don't want to sleep with you, Pidge. I like you too much.”
“My name’s Travis. Travis Maddox.” I rolled my eyes. “I know who you are.” “You do, huh?” Travis said, raising his wounded eyebrow. “Don’t flatter yourself. It’s hard not to notice when fifty drunks are chanting your name. “ Travis sat up a bit taller. “I get that a lot.” I rolled my eyes again, and Travis chuckled. “Do you have a twitch?” “A what?” “A twitch. Your eyes keep wiggling around.” He laughed again when I glared at him. “Those are some amazing eyes though,” he said, leaning just inches from my face.”
“I've been drinking, all right? Your skin was three inches from my face, and you're beautiful, and you smell fucking awesome when you sweat. I kissed you! I'm sorry! Get over yourself!”
“He continued to stare out the window. "I meant what I said before. You need to walk away, Pidge. God knows I can't walk away from you.”
“Did you forget I was with you? Are you trying to get me killed?""It's hard to forget you're behind me when your thighs are squeezing the life out of me." A smirk came with his next thought. "I couldn't think of a better way to die, actually.""There is something very wrong with you.”
“It's over. Go home."His eyebrows pulled in. "You're my home.”
“I'm going to kill David Lapinski!" America announced, shaking snow out of her hair as she approached."Direct hit!" Shepley laughed. America shot him a warning glare and his laugh turned into a nervous chuckle. "I mean... what an asshole.”

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