Hopeless

“You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.”

“Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy.”

“You don’t tell a person you love them with the expectation they’ll say it back. You tell them because you want to. You tell them because it’s true.”

“I’m done pretending to be head over heels in love with you because I’m legitimately head over heels in love with you. And acting like I’m not tears me up.”

“If we’re struggling, we’re still in motion, yeah? Heading somewhere better. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.”

“Beau: Willa doesn’t run my show. Cade: You must be new here. Willa runs everyone’s show.”

“It bothers me that what we’re doing here can be filed away as fake when it’s the most real thing I’ve felt in my life.”

“I know you’re scared of losing control around me.” Her chin tips up as though she’s told me something that will make me back down. Run me off. It doesn’t. “No, I’m scared of you becoming something I can’t live without.”

“It doesn't have any effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say, 'How am I supposed to explain to my child that two men are getting married?' ... I dunno, it's your shitty kid, you fucking' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in love but they can't get married because you don't want to talk to your ugly child for fuckin' five minutes?”

“Not a big fan of sharing something once I decide it’s mine.”

“There's something fractured about Beau. About his spirit. Like he's torn between so many versions of himself and doesn't know which one to pick. I wish he knew it's okay to be all of them with me.”

“This girl has brought me back to life without even trying. All that time I searched for someone to make me feel something, and she was right fucking there.”

“I don’t know how no one else sees it. Sees her. It’s like we’re all staring at the same painting and every other person in this town is missing the point.”

“It’s like I’ve been searching for something, something to tie me to this new reality. I wasn’t looking for love; I was looking for a purpose. I just didn’t expect my purpose to be you.”

“I wish I were a cow. Wish I could find some joy in the monotony of ranch life.”

“You fill me with purpose. Lifting you up gives me a reason. Seeing you smile makes me feel whole. And I’m never going to apologise for that. We’re symbiotic, you and me. Without you, this version of me doesn’t exist. Without the next version of you, the next version of me doesn’t exist either. We’re going to grow together.”

“And we’ll change. And we’ll have difficulties. Because that’s life. You don’t recognise the highs without the lows, sugar. I’ve changed too. That’s how I knew you were it. That’s how I know I’ll love you in every version of yourself, because we’re all constantly changing. Growing. Becoming.”

“She looks very engaged wearing that rock, and it has the caveman inside of me beating his proverbial chest. Someone should tell him this is fake.”

“We could all die tomorrow, Bailey. Gotta do what makes us happy today.”

“I’m struggling.”“Trust your struggle, Beau.”“What does that mean?”“If we’re struggling, we’re still in motion, yeah? Heading somewhere better. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.”

“Fantasy and reality, so close yet still so far apart.”

“He’s beautiful almost always. But he’s blinding when he smiles.”

“You asked me who I wanted to be once, and it’s this. Me. Right here. Right now. With you.”

“Stop agreeing with me. We’re still fighting.”“Sorry. My bad. It’s just that I am also hashtag team Bailey.”“You’re relentless, you know that?”‘And I just give her a salute and a wink. Because yeah, I am. No one has ever showed up for Bailey, but she’s about to get the full experience.’“No, sugar. When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”

“I’m so fucking hung up on you, it’s not even funny.”“Wherever you’re hanging from… I think I’m on the same hook.”

“I can see his length straining against his shorts. With his eyes covered, I casually hold my hand out to compare sizes. For science.”

“No, sugar. When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”

“I’ve been looking out for myself for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t feel like such a hardship anymore. Just reality.”

“Let her go. You’ve already peed on her. No one is gonna take her from you.”

“Beau Eaton, don’t you dare pick something huge.” I turn to face her now. She shakes her head at me as I walk backward, straight into the waiting arms of . . . a giant stuffed raccoon. The biggest toy they’ve got. “Why not, future Mrs. Eaton?” I call back, grinning so hard my cheeks hurt. “You love that massive rock I put on your finger, don’t you?”