Let's Get Textual

“Me: Cake, brownies, ice cream? GO!Zach: Yes.Me: NO! Pick one! HURRYMe: I’m at the store getting ready to check out and I NEED TO KNOW. I can’t decide. Help a cute, hangry girl out, would ya.Zach: How about…a brownie cake with ice cream.Me: I think I just came.Zach: I am known for my skills.”

“Releasing me, he backs up and strips off his shirt then shucks his jeans.I burst into laughter.“If you think you’re going to Slytherin to my bed with those on, you’re wrong. I only allow full-fledged Hufflepuffs in there.”Zach glances down at his underwear and hangs his head. “Why did I have to wear this pair today? Why?”“What? I think they’re hot.”“You think my Harry Potter underwear are hot?” I nod. “You are my dream girl.”I grin and shake my head as I make my way to my bed. I do my best to straighten the covers before pulling back my side and climbing in.“I think you were right earlier.”“About?” he asks, standing on the other side.“This bed isn’t big enough for two. I think we’ll have to snuggle.”He smirks as he slides in, getting as close to me as possible. I don’t hesitate to match his movements—though I probably should. I should be weirded out that Zach’s in my bed. I shouldn’t gravitate toward him like I do.But I can’t help it. Zach makes me feel…comfortable. Safe. Warm. Wanted.We’re lying face to face in the middle of the bed, the blanket draped over our waists, grinning at each other like fools.“What?” I whisper.“I made it in.”“What?” I ask again, confused.“Your special Hufflepuff-only chamber of secrets.”“Did you really just…” Laughter consumes me and I’m rolling to my back and covering my face in embarrassment…for him. “You are such a nerd, Zach.”

“It’s not over. It’s the beginning of a new adventure.”

“Zach: Are you close with your brother? He’s partially to blame for the wrong number thing, isn’t he?* * *Me: Kind of. Yeah, we’re close. My mom worked at the hospital so it was usually just us two fending for ourselves.* * *Me: Okay, so I shouldn’t say fending for ourselves. That makes me sound like a dick and unappreciative of all my mom did. We just spent many nights just the two of us because my mom was a hardworking single lady and she wasn’t searching for a man to put a ring on it because she. Is. Fierce.* * *Zach: I bet your mom is the shit.* * *Me: She really is. You should meet her sometime.* * *Me: Oh, awkward…I’m talking about meeting the family and we’re not even officially a couple.* * *Zach: We’re not?* * *Me: We are?My phone lights up with a call from Zach.“Are you saying we aren’t dating?” he says before I can say anything.“We are…”“Are you saying you’re wanting to see other people?”“No…”“So then we’re a couple.”I’m quiet, unsure what to say. I’m so scared to label this, which is stupid, I know.“Delia?”“Yes, Zach?”“Do you not want to be?”I take a deep breath and push out the answer I know is right, even though my head is saying otherwise. “No. I want to be a couple.”“Are you sure?”“Yes. I’m just…scared. I know I shouldn’t put that all on you, but you’re kind of the reason I’m scared. I like you, Zach—a lot—but what if this doesn’t work out? What if we jump in too soon?”He sighs. “Remember when we were talking about our exes? About the lack of fireworks?”“Yeah.”“I swear to god, someone is going to swoop in and take my man card for this shit, but I felt them with you. When we first kissed, I knew right then you were worth jumping in with both feet and taking a risk.”I don’t let myself overthink his words, wanting to keep my head level and clear.“What if I’m not worth the risk?”“We’ll never know if we don’t take it.”“Say you’re a couple already, Dalilah!” Robbie’s voice comes loud through the speaker. “He paused the movie during an epic scene!”“How many times have I told you that her name is Delia. Deal-ya. Get it?”“You talk about me with Robbie?” I ask.“Sometimes.”“Say yes! He looks like someone kicked his goat!”“Shut the fuck up, Robbie!”I laugh. “If I say yes, will he stop shouting?”“YES!” Robbie shouts again.“I’ll take the risk, Zach, but you better be worth it.”“You’ve seen my Harry Potter underwear—you know I’m worth it.” Then he whispers, “Wink.”

“I could love you one day, Zach,” I whisper against his mouth. “I think it’s too late for me, Delia.”

“Zach: *sends you a thousand cat pictures** * *Me: Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“Me: There’s such a thing as leftover pizza? Zach: Are you trying to make me fall in love with you, Delia?”

“You’re not naked.” “Very astute observation.” “But I thought you’d be naked. I thought there’d be hot wild sex.” “There’s a goat waiting for us in the car…” Zach groans. “He’s such a little cockblocker.”

“My name is Rose.’” A shit-eating grin breaks out across his face. “And I yell, ‘There was room on that board!’” “And I burst into tears.” “Snot is flying everywhere and she rushes off the stage and out the door. I jump to my feet and race after her to find her sitting in the middle of the parking lot, sobbing into the quiet night. So, I wrap my arm around her and let her wipe her boogers all over me.”

“He touched my ass cheek, Delia. Your hand was on my dick and he touched my fucking ass cheek.”

“Will you go on a second date with me?”“We’re still in the middle of our first date, Zach. You can’t just ask me that out of the blue.”“I already did, and I refuse to take it back.”“What if I don’t like you by the end of this date?” I volley back.“You honestly think that’s possible?” His dimples poke through his smile, and I know right then I’m going to say yes. “Say yes, Delia. Be wild. Do something crazy and fun.”

“Me: It’s the PERFECT name. We can even buy a dark brown one and a tan one and name them Graham Cracker and Milk Chocolate. Zach: Did you just create a s’more out of my future goats? Me: …maybe.”

“Me: You sit around in your house with only your panties on? Zach: I do not wear “panties”, thank you very much. I wear manly boxer briefs. Me: With weird characters on them, don’t you? Zach: How did you know that?”

“You’re a cool dude.”“A cool dude, huh? That’s what you call your best friend, or a guy you’ve stuck in the friend zone, not someone you keep kissing. Are you trying to friend-zone me, Delia?”I roll over to face him and he peers down at me, one eyebrow raised.I reach up and smooth it down. “You look like you’re trying to smell what the Rock is cookin’ when you do that.”

“Me: Proposal?* * *Me: Let’s watch Hemlock Grove together. Via text.* * *Me: Also, I think it’s weird you’re always texting me, BUT, I AM texting back, so I guess that makes me weird too. You’re kind of…fun.* * *Zach: Only kind of?* * *Me: *rolls eyes* Way to ruin the moment.* * *Zach: *I* ruined the moment? You’re the one who lied.* * *Me: Point out my lie.* * *Zach: KIND OF. Like we both don’t know how remarkable I am.* * *Me: You’re very full of yourself.* * *Zach: Or confident. Take your pick.* * *Me: Why am I still talking to you?* * *Zach: Because we’re going to binge Hemlock Grove together?* * *Me: Give me thirty and we’re on.* * *Me: WAIT. What are you ordering to eat? Let’s be real losers and eat the same thing.* * *Zach: *groans* Do we HAVE to?* * *Zach: I’m ordering Chinese.* * *Me: Nah. Let’s get wings.* * *Zach: Fine. Wings it is.* * *Me: *whispers* What kind are you getting?* * *Zach: WE ARE NOT GETTING THE SAME FLAVOR. We aren’t THAT pathetic.* * *Me: Fine, but just so you know, I’m pouting.”

“It’s just a pair of tits. You didn’t even have the balls to put your pussy on camera.”

“Anyway, you wouldn’t shut your mouth about your little friend Zoe, implying that I screwed her over or some shit. Newsflash, darlin’, she gave it up real easy. I got my piece and I was done.”

“Fine. Fuck. I snooped around on Zach’s phone when he let me borrow it, found that pic you’d sent him, and sent it my way for, you know, later. I made sure to delete the sent text from Zach’s phone because he didn’t need to know what I was doing.” My stomach turns at the thought of Shep masturbating to a naked photo of me—hell, any photo of me—but I think what repulses me the most is that he’s Zach’s brother and he violated not only me, but him too.”

“I can’t judge what I don’t know.”

“Tongues tangle together. Breathing is secondary in this moment. All that matters is the feel of his lips on me, his hands tangling themselves in my hair, the way his body crushes against mine. “Invite me into your room, Delia.”

“He chuckles. “Yeah, we can split, but we’re getting fried green beans too.”

“Then the burger…and the mozzarella sticks. Maybe the Mediterranean flatbread too.”