The Lonesome Bodybuilder

“When I woke up and looked in the mirror, I saw that my face had finally begun to forget who I was.I guessed my features had just been caught off guard that day. When I peered closer, they rushed to reassemble, as though to say, Oh, shit. But it was as if they couldn’t remember their original placement, and as a result, the final impression was a little off-kilter.”

“Life’s not worth living if you’re not tending to the whims and demands of a high-maintenance lover!”

“there are some clothes in the world that, the moment you put them on, make you feel so miserable you just want to smash the mirror in front of you as your reflection looks on in surprise. The kind of clothes that make you think, You’ve got to be kidding, and wonder if perhaps you’ve always looked like a clown, whether your entire life up until that point has been an embarrassing mistake.”

“WARNING smiling muscle woman will strangle you to death”

“Of course, there’s likely to be the occasional jeer or heckle from an insensitive bystander, pointing out that your lover is a bicycle saddle, but let this minor obstacle only stoke the flames of your love. Your partner will no doubt be prepared to be swung as hard as it takes to protect your honor. More important, most human men are no match for his manliness in bed.”

“I want to increase my barbell lifts by another thirty pounds before spring. And I want to get a dog, an adorable Yorkie.”

“Never mind. It's too painful remembering the way I used to be. Back then I never bothered with boring explanations. My mind was open to anything. I wasn't worried about being disrespected by my team, or of people thinking I was a crazy woman. I didn't let myself be bound by anything as common as common sense.”

“Green. Yellow. Red. Evidently the trees all changed color at different times. It felt luxurious to be holding all three colors in her field of vision at once.”

“There was no doubt he was a misanthrope, like me, but unlike me he had enough courtesy and presence of mind not to let show.”

“Yes. I think your husband’s trying to shut all his troubles and worries and anxieties out of his mind. Which is why he needs to tap-tap-tap all the time.”

“I always do that. I decide who I am, and never consider other possibilities.”

“I wanted to get to a world where there was only yes or no. Ones and zeroes.”

“Do you understand the heartbreak of realizing you've lost the ability to respond to things you've seen with your very own eyes with genuine suprise? How it feels when rationality, and hard-won experience, and your career all suddenly seem pointless? How far I've strayed from the carefree, innocent child I was. All that youth, and the potential that I must have once had, wasted. When I look at you, I'm confronted by the fact that I've turned into a totally uninteresting person. Don't you dare make me remember who I used to be.”

“You must think you're really something. Calling yourself a phenomenon.”

“Q. I always end up waiting for him to call. (Aspiring homemaker, 23)A. Long, long before we learned to wait for things like that, we were already waiting for something else. We've been waiting our whole lives for the moment when everything we can see vanishes in a puff of smoke, and someone claps their hands and says, 'Your whole life up to now has been a lie. Your real life starts now.' Which is to say that he is not the one leaving you hanging.”