The Outward Mindset: Seeing Beyond Ourselves

If we don’t measure the impact of our efforts on the objectives of those we are serving, we will remain blind to important ways we need to adjust and will end up not serving others well.

Developing an outward mindset is a matter of learning to see beyond ourselves. Our hope for you, the reader, is that this book will make such mindset change completely tangible to you and that you will achieve the results at work and at home that only an outward mindset can bring.

mindset drives and shapes all that we do—how we engage with others and how we behave in every moment and situation.

no problem could be solved if individuals were not willing to address how they themselves were part of the problem.

while behaviors drive results, behaviors themselves are informed and shaped by one’s mindset.

organizational improvement, even turnaround, is less a matter of getting the wrong people off the bus than a matter of helping people see. It is a matter of changing mindset.

the simple idea that behaviors drive results.

When people focus on themselves rather than on their impact, lots of activity and effort get wasted on the wrong things.

With an inward mindset, on the other hand, I become self-focused and see others not as people with their own needs, objectives, and challenges but as objects to help me with mine. Those that can help me, I see as vehicles. Those that make things more difficult for me, I see as obstacles. Those whose help wouldn’t matter become irrelevant to me.

At the end of the day, my leadership effectiveness is measured not by what I am able to accomplish, but by what those whom I lead are able to accomplish.

the biggest lever for change is not a change in self-belief but a fundamental change in the way one sees and regards one’s connections with and obligations to others.

This book is about the difference between a self-focused inward mindset and an others-inclusive outward mindset. It will help you become more outward in your work, your leadership, and your life. It will guide you in building more innovative and collaborative teams and organizations. And it will help you see why you like many of the people you do and what you can do to become more like them.

The energy-draining, time-wasting, silo-creating effect of this justification seeking is one of the most debilitating of organizational problems.

Seeing people as people rather than as objects enables better thinking because such thinking is done in response to the truth: others really are people and not objects.

when I try to impose my ideas on others and thereby refuse to allow them to think, I end up getting in the way more than I end up being helpful.

person whose mindset is outward sees others as people. Seeing them as people, he realizes that others matter like he himself matters. And because they do, their needs, objectives, and challenges will matter to him as well. As a result, his objectives and behaviors will take others into account. In a work context, a person with an outward mindset will hold himself accountable to accomplish his own objectives and to do so in a way that makes it easier, not harder, for his colleagues to succeed in their responsibilities as well.

So while it’s true that behavior drives results, it’s also true that mindset drives behavior.

Given that no one is born into this world without others, that one’s ability to think requires language learned from others, and that one’s cognitive and emotional experiences are shaped by thoughts and feelings about others, thinkers began to argue that individualistic approaches miss the mark. What is fundamental is not an isolated self but rather a kind of brute fact that just is—the reality of being in the world with others. Who we are is who we are with others.

We can be connected to others as with people or connected to others as with objects, but we are always connected. Separation is an abstraction. Together is our reality.

my leadership effectiveness is measured not by what I am able to accomplish but by what those whom I lead are able to accomplish.

So while it’s true that behavior drives results, it’s also true that mindset drives behavior. Consequently, any solution to human problems that ignores this reality ignores too much of what’s true to produce reliable results.

If I have an outward mindset, knowing that the organization’s success depends on my colleague’s success as well as my own, I will feel an obligation to help my colleague succeed.

With Buber’s observations in mind, we can see that both of these leaders are connected with others rather than split from them. It’s just that one of them—the Isolated leader—is together with others as with objects, while the Together Leader is together with others as with people.

every person who is burning time and energy seeking justification is doing so at the expense of the contribution he or she could be making to the overall results of the company.

As the mindset changes, so does the behavior, without having to prescribe the change. And where certain behaviors still need to be stipulated, the suggestions won’t be systematically resisted. For these reasons, mindset change facilitates sustainable behavior change.

When we average the results across industries, people rate their colleagues at 4.6 on the continuum and themselves at 6.8. Think about what this means: on average, all employees in an organization think they are nearly 50 percent better—more collaborative and less blameworthy—than their coworkers. So what happens when problems arise? Those who think they are 7s look around and wait for all the 4s to change. The trouble is, all those 4s think they, too, are 7s! So everyone waits—and blames. This is a manifestation of the problem of self-deception that we wrote about in Leadership and Self-Deception.

If there is one truism about life, surely it is that we are inextricably and inescapably together.

A good rule of thumb is that an organization is ready to deploy mindset-change efforts to the next level in an organization when those in the next level are seeing real change in the level above. Leaders demonstrate noticeable change as they begin questioning the privileges they reserve for themselves. To prompt such helpful changes, leaders could begin asking themselves questions like these: Do we need the prime parking spots? The best office spaces? Do we segregate ourselves in different cafeterias or more preferred parts of the building? Can perks that the few enjoy be made available to others? Can any trappings of “bigshotness” be removed? If we treat and pay ourselves generously, are we appropriately generous as well with our employees? And so on.

Remember, the principle to apply is, as far as I am concerned, the problem is me. I am the place to start. Others’ responses will depend mostly on what they see in me. The most important move is for me to make the most important move.

Leaders fail,” Paul explains, “by coming in saying, ‘Here’s the vision. Now you go execute what I see.’ That’s just wrong in our view of the world.” Continuing, he says, “Although leaders should provide a mission or context and point toward what is possible, what humble, good leaders also do is to help people see.